But when he heard it, he said, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and Learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice’. For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” Matthew 9:12-13
During these past few weeks, I have begun to truly experience what it feels like for the Lord to shower me in His peace. As humans, we will encounter many high anxiety, high stress moments. Everything can be perfect–and then three hours later, your world is falling apart.
I know we’ve all felt this. One thing goes wrong and before you know it, seventeen other things have gone wrong alongside it. Satan tries to overwhelm us. He tries to convince us that we can’t possibly handle it, so our minds become preoccupied, arguing with him in a feeble attempt to prove that we can figure it out on our own. He is distracting us from the face of Jesus.
These past few weeks have been filled with some very heavy realizations about myself. It is human nature to crave approval and affirmation. But it is also deadly.
This has been a time of pure revelation sent from my God. As a result, I have found myself bogged down with stresses, silly details, worries, and anxieties. I didn’t know what to do, so I started writing. Here is what He said:
While you are pretending to have it all together, you are killing any sense of identity you have.
You are losing yourself in your efforts to hide imperfections.
The beauty of your spirit is that it is individual… you’re letting that deteriorate because you can’t embrace who I’ve made you to be.
Stop pretending.
Stop pretending.
Stop pretending.
So here I sit, still entirely uncertain about what is going to happen and lacking any sort of understanding of God’s reasoning behind all of this… but I have resolved to wait upon the Lord. Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. No one whose hope is in the Lord will ever be put to shame. The reality of who God is and how He works is just massive, something my mind can't fathom. Live in humility, knowing that you will never be able to fully understand.
Love,
eli
